


FEAR

by marissalyn14



Series: Hollstein Drabbles [7]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Hollstein - Freeform, Not really though, a bit angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:43:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4117444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marissalyn14/pseuds/marissalyn14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla is realizing how hard relationships are, and how it's even worse to try and let someone care for you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	FEAR

Relationships are hard.

You like to think loving someone is effortless, but it’s as difficult as trying to combust a pile of magazines on an empty stomach. You thought Laura would make things simpler. You already knew of all of her disgusting habits and irritable mannerisms. 

You knew nothing about her past though, or her future. You only knew of a father she only spoke of on occasion, and after a long and drawn out conversation she had with LaF that you accidentally overheard, you were afraid to ask. Something about flashes of light. It was the supposed reason behind why Laura jumped every time lightning streaked across Styria’s sky and clung to your limbs as if they were her own.

You’d soothe her with soft touches and sweet endless kisses to remind her that she wasn’t alone. You liked to think that you helped in your own subtle and somehow obvious-to-everyone-else-but-her way. You would sit by her without words needed, stroking her hair when it frizzed, and scratch your rounded nails up and down her back beneath her shirt.

A lot of it was comfort. You hate to think Laura hadn’t grown up coddled and not lead. You hated to think that she held a heavy heart already too big for her chest that it poured out past her ribcage and crushed all of her other organs. You didn’t want to think that her loving you would one day kill her. You didn’t want to be the sole reason her lungs collapsed and her blood stream turned red as her ribs finally gave out and ripped a hole right through her side. Anatomy was never the center of your interests, but you had yourself learn the ins and outs of the human body so that you knew exactly what you hungered for.

To think that one day Laura would no longer be yours scared you.

You wanted to know all of the things LaF knew about her and more. You wanted to be the person she told things to. You wanted your arguments with her to actually be rooted and mean something. You wanted her pain to have an answer posed to the question in your mind. You wanted your love for her to swallow her whole such as hers did for you. You wanted to understand her in every way she understood you. You wanted the revenge she could not seek out, and you wanted to ruin her such as she did you.

You wanted a lot of things, but you wanted to absorb her fear most of all. Just as she had yours.

**Author's Note:**

> So what'd you think? I don't know how I feel about it, but figured that you guys could decide for me.
> 
> You can find me here: thisismyhalfroomcutie.tumblr.com


End file.
